Why Do We Apologise for Feeling Our Loved Ones Around Us?

One of the things I hear most often in my work as a medium isn't evidence from Spirit.

It's an apology.

Before someone tells me about a dream, a sign, a feeling, a coincidence, or a moment they cannot explain, they almost always begin with the same words:

"This is going to sound crazy..."

"You'll think I'm mad..."

"It's probably just my imagination..."

I was reminded of this recently while watching KYLIE , The Kylie Minogue documentary on Netflix as she spoke about her ongoing connection with Michael Hutchence, from the other side of life.

As Kylie reflected on the relationship they shared and the feeling that he was somehow still around her, she hesitated. She softened her words with phrases such as "it's going to sound crazy" and "it's kind of crazy."

It struck me because I have heard the same hesitation thousands of times.

Not because people doubt what they experienced.

Because they fear how others will react.

The Apology Before the Story

Think about it for a moment.

When someone says they miss a loved one, nobody questions them.

When someone says they still love a husband, wife, parent, child or friend who has died, nobody calls that irrational.

When someone talks about hearing a favourite song and thinking of someone they have lost, we understand completely.

Yet if they say they sensed their loved one's presence, dreamed of them vividly, smelt their perfume unexpectedly, or felt comfort at exactly the moment they needed it, suddenly they feel the need to defend themselves.

Why?

The experience itself often feels completely natural to them.

The fear comes from being judged.

Love Doesn't End

One of the greatest misunderstandings surrounding grief is the belief that relationships end when someone dies.

The physical relationship changes, of course.

We can no longer pick up the telephone.

We can no longer share a cup of tea or sit together at the dinner table.

But love itself doesn't disappear.

The bond remains.

The memories remain.

The influence they had on our lives remains.

The lessons they taught us remain.

And for many people, so does a sense of connection.

You do not have to be a medium to understand this.

You simply have to have loved someone.

We Accept Invisible Things Every Day

What I find fascinating is that we already accept countless things we cannot physically prove.

Love cannot be weighed or measured.

Hope cannot be photographed.

Trust cannot be held in our hands.

Yet nobody doubts their existence.

Human beings live much of their lives through experiences that cannot be placed under a microscope.

We know they are real because we feel them.

Connection works in much the same way.

Whether you believe that our loved ones continue in Spirit, whether you view signs symbolically, or whether you simply believe love leaves an imprint upon our lives, the experience itself is profoundly human.

Perhaps the Real Question

Perhaps the real question isn't:

"Why do people feel their loved ones around them?"

Perhaps the real question is:

"Why have we become so uncomfortable talking about it?"

For most of human history, stories of dreams, signs, ancestors, spiritual encounters and continued connection were woven naturally into everyday life.

Today many people still experience those moments.

The difference is that they often whisper about them.

They share them privately.

They apologise before speaking.

It Isn't Crazy

As someone who has spent more than twenty-five years working as a medium, I have witnessed enough evidence to satisfy my own understanding that love survives physical death.

But even putting mediumship aside completely, I do not think it is crazy to feel connected to those we have loved.

I think it is human.

I think it is natural.

And I think perhaps we should stop apologising for experiences that bring comfort, healing and hope.

After all, if love can change a life while someone is here, why is it so difficult to imagine that its presence might still be felt after they have gone?

Maybe that isn't crazy at all.

Maybe it is simply love continuing its journey.

TJ Higgs