There is something about Halloween that has always felt significant to me.
Not because of the costumes, the pumpkins or the spooky stories, although I do enjoy a little Halloween fun. For me, it has always been about something much deeper.
It's about endings, beginnings, reflection and the opportunity to release what we no longer need to carry.
This Saturday, I'll be in beautiful Cromer, Norfolk, with my Trinity guests, where we'll be spending Halloween together and taking part in a releasing ritual inspired by tradition.
And I can't think of a more appropriate time to do it.
Halloween: The Original New Year?
If we look back at the history of Halloween, we find its roots in the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain.
Samhain marked the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter. It was a significant turning point in the Celtic calendar, traditionally associated with the ending of one cycle and the beginning of another.
It's often described as the Celtic New Year, although historians still debate exactly how the ancient Celts marked the beginning of their year.
But the symbolism is beautiful.
The harvest was gathered, the work of the growing season was complete, and the land was preparing for the darker, quieter months.
It was time to take stock, honour what had been and prepare for what was to come.
And do you know something?
That's exactly how I've always felt about this time of year.
For me, Halloween almost marks the end of my productive year.
Not that I stop working, because anyone who knows me will know that's unlikely!
But energetically, something changes.
As we move into November, December and January, I feel a natural pull towards slowing down, reflecting and allowing myself a little more space.
We live in a world that constantly encourages us to keep going, keep achieving, keep producing and keep moving forward.
But nature doesn't work like that.
And neither should we.
Even the Trees Know When to Rest
Look outside at this time of year.
The trees are shedding their leaves. The days are becoming shorter. The earth is preparing for winter.
But the trees aren't dying simply because they've lost their leaves.
They're conserving their energy, protecting themselves and preparing for another season of growth.
There is a reason for that.
A tree doesn't desperately try to hold on to every leaf because it fears what might happen without them.
It allows the natural process to take place.
And perhaps there's a lesson in that for all of us.
Not everything that leaves our lives is a loss. Sometimes it's simply making room for what comes next.
We don't need to be constantly growing.
We don't need to have everything figured out.
And we certainly don't need to carry every experience, every disappointment and every hurt into another year.
Sometimes the most productive thing we can do is rest.
Plant Your Seeds & Leave Them Alone
I've often said that, personally, I feel more connected to the Chinese New Year than to 1 January.
The Chinese New Year, also known as the Spring Festival, represents renewal and the beginning of a fresh cycle.
And I love that.
By the time we're moving towards spring, nature is beginning to wake up again.
There's a feeling of possibility, fresh energy and new life.
For me, that feels much more like a beginning.
So I see Halloween and the winter months as a time to prepare.
To clear away what isn't needed, decide what matters and quietly plant the seeds of our intentions.
And when I say plant your seeds, I mean exactly that.
Plant them.
And then leave them alone.
Think about how we manifest.
We set an intention. We connect with what we want to create. We allow ourselves to feel it, believe in it and know that we are moving towards it.
But then what do so many people do?
They keep digging the seed up to see whether it's growing!
They question it, worry about it, doubt themselves and wonder why nothing has happened yet.
You wouldn't plant a seed in your garden and dig it up every morning to check whether it had developed roots.
You would give it the right conditions, trust the process and allow nature to do what nature does.
And I believe our intentions deserve the same patience.
Know what you are working towards. Plant the intention. Take the steps you need to take. And then allow it the time and space to grow.
Not everything needs to happen immediately.
Some of the most beautiful things in life take time.
Halloween & the Spirit World
Of course, as a spiritual medium, Halloween has another very special meaning for me.
Traditionally, Samhain was considered a time when the boundary between the physical world and the spirit world was at its thinnest.
It was believed that those who had passed could draw closer to the living.
Now, I don't personally believe that our loved ones need a particular date in the calendar to come close to us.
The spirit world doesn't suddenly open its doors on 31 October and close them again on 1 November!
Our loved ones are part of our lives every day.
But I do believe that certain times of year encourage us to become more reflective, more sensitive and more aware of those connections.
Halloween is one of those times.
It's an opportunity to remember our loved ones, acknowledge their continuing place in our lives and perhaps address some of the emotions we've been carrying.
And this is where I believe the real importance of releasing comes in.
We Are Not Releasing Our Loved Ones
I want to make something very clear.
When I talk about releasing, I'm not talking about letting go of the people we love.
Absolutely not.
Love doesn't end because somebody dies.
Our relationships change, but the love remains.
What we sometimes need to release is the pain that has become attached to that love.
In my work as a medium, I meet so many people who are carrying guilt.
Perhaps they didn't get to say goodbye.
Perhaps their last conversation was an argument.
Perhaps they weren't there when their loved one passed.
Or perhaps there are things they wish they'd said, things they wish they'd done differently, or words they would give anything to take back.
And those emotions can stay with us for years.
I've sat with people who are still punishing themselves for something that happened decades ago.
And often, what I see through my work is that they are carrying a burden they no longer need to carry.
We are human.
We don't always get things right.
We say things we don't mean. We make decisions based on what we know at the time. Sometimes we simply don't have the opportunity to put things right before somebody passes.
But I don't believe love should become a life sentence of guilt.
You can love somebody, miss them every day and still give yourself permission to be happy.
You can wish something had happened differently without punishing yourself forever.
You can forgive yourself.
And perhaps this Halloween is an opportunity to begin doing just that.
Living Grief: Missing Those Who Are Still Here
There's another kind of grief that I speak about, and I call it living grief.
It's the grief we experience when somebody is still alive but is no longer part of our everyday life.
Perhaps there's been a family disagreement.
Perhaps a friendship has broken down.
Perhaps somebody has chosen to walk away, or circumstances have created a distance that neither person knows how to overcome.
Sometimes people become strangers despite sharing years of memories.
And that can be incredibly painful.
Because how do you grieve somebody who is still here?
How do you come to terms with the absence of somebody you could, in theory, pick up the phone and call, but know that you can't?
I understand that feeling personally.
Like many families, mine has experienced its own disconnections and difficulties.
There are people who have been part of my life whom I don't see or speak to as often as I might wish.
But that doesn't mean I stop caring.
It doesn't mean I stop sending them love, healing and good thoughts.
And it certainly doesn't mean I erase the part they've played in my journey.
Because whether our experiences with people have been good, bad or downright ugly, they've still helped shape who we are.
Some have brought us enormous happiness.
Others have taught us lessons we would probably rather not have learned.
But they are still part of our story.
And I've come to understand something important.
You can love somebody from a distance without allowing them to continue hurting you.
You can wish somebody well without inviting them back into your life.
You can forgive without pretending that what happened was acceptable.
And you can move forward without needing everybody to understand your reasons.
Forgiveness isn't always about reconciliation.
Sometimes it's simply about finding peace within yourself.
Rest. Recover. Rise.
Recently, I was speaking with a wonderful lady who has been through an incredibly difficult experience.
She had given so much of herself to others.
Her time, her energy, her patience, her knowledge and her genuine care.
She had served people with dedication, only to find herself pushed aside and excluded from something she had invested so much of herself in.
And I could see how deeply it had hurt her.
Because sometimes it's not simply what people do to us that causes the greatest pain.
It's the disappointment of discovering that people we believed would treat us with kindness and respect are capable of behaving very differently.
And when you've given your heart to something, that can be devastating.
My advice to her was very simple.
Rest. Recover. Rise.
And I want to share those three words with you.
Rest
You don't have to respond to everything.
You don't have to defend yourself to everybody.
You don't have to prove your worth to people who have already decided not to recognise it.
Sometimes you simply need to stop.
Give yourself space.
Allow yourself to feel disappointed, angry, hurt or whatever else you need to feel.
You don't have to be strong every minute of every day.
Recover
Healing takes time.
And it doesn't happen because we pretend something didn't hurt.
It happens when we acknowledge what happened, learn from it and begin to rebuild our confidence.
Take back your energy.
Remember who you were before somebody else's behaviour made you question yourself.
Remember what you have achieved, what you have given and, most importantly, who you are.
Rise
And when you're ready, rise.
Not to prove anybody wrong.
Not to seek revenge.
Not to make somebody regret what they've done.
But because you still have a life to live.
You still have gifts to share.
You still have people to love, places to go and wonderful experiences waiting for you.
And nobody else's treatment of you should determine the rest of your story.
Rest. Recover. Rise.
Not necessarily today.
Not because somebody tells you it's time.
But when you are ready.
My Halloween Invitation to You
So, this Halloween, while I'm in Cromer with my Trinity guests, we'll be taking time to reflect, acknowledge and release.
Not because we want to forget the past.
But because we want to make peace with the parts of it that no longer need to hurt us.
And I'd love you to join us in spirit, wherever you are.
You don't need an elaborate ritual.
You don't need anything expensive or complicated.
Just find yourself a quiet moment.
Perhaps light a candle, sit with a cup of tea or take a little time somewhere peaceful.
And ask yourself three questions.
What am I ready to release?
Perhaps it's guilt, resentment, fear, disappointment or the constant need to be everything to everybody.
What am I ready to forgive?
Perhaps somebody else.
Perhaps a situation that didn't turn out the way you hoped.
Or perhaps, most importantly, yourself.
What am I ready to welcome into my life?
Not what you think you should want.
Not what somebody else expects of you.
But what you genuinely feel is right for the next chapter of your life.
Write it down if you wish.
Set your intention.
And then allow yourself to leave it there.
You don't need to force the next chapter to begin.
You don't need to know exactly how everything will unfold.
You simply need to make room for it.
The Beauty of Beginning Again
As the trees release their leaves and the earth prepares for winter, perhaps we can give ourselves permission to do the same.
To stop holding on so tightly.
To recognise that rest isn't failure.
That forgiveness isn't weakness.
And that releasing something doesn't mean it never mattered.
Our loved ones in the spirit world will always be part of us.
The people we've loved in this life, even those we've lost touch with, will always have their place in our story.
But the pain, the guilt, the resentment and the disappointment?
We don't have to carry those forever.
This Halloween, I invite you to honour everything that has brought you to this moment.
The beautiful memories.
The difficult lessons.
The people who stayed.
The people who left.
And the person you've become along the way.
Then give yourself permission to rest.
Because just like the trees, we don't have to be in bloom all year round.
There is a season for growth.
A season for letting go.
And a season for simply being.
And when your spring arrives, you'll be ready to grow again.
Release. Renew. Reset.
Rest. Recover. Rise.
And remember, sometimes the most beautiful new beginnings start with the quietest endings.
With love,
Spiritual Medium | Teacher | Author
